Wow! I'm sorry it's been so long. I no longer have internet, so I'm posting this from school. Things are so weird in my life right now. School is good, though. I hope to one day have internet access again because I really miss You guys! A bunch!
I have a mid-term test in Introduction to Computers today...Wish me luck!
Have a beautiful week...!
(This is not mine, but a pic I found online and liked!)
I tried like hell to have a Live Journal blog for my school projects, but it's all messed up there...as far as passwords and such. I opened an account there, posted to my blog and everything...then when I tried to get back on there and leave a response to a comment (So sorry Sage!)...it wouldn't let me sign back in. It tells me that there is no account and I know for a fact that I'm signing in correctly, so I guess that one will sit there and rot! I'll just re-add the blog I've already created here at blogger for school blogging...or hell, I just might keep all that here.
Though I'm not sure...still trying to figure out if I really want this blog to be known by those I attend school with. It might cut into the amount of freedom I have to speak my mind here.
School is going well BTW...though it really sucks to have to drive a little over one hundred miles a day to attend. Especially with the price of gas these days! It's really draining us. It's worth it though because I'm loving it!
Sorry it's been so long, my life has just really been consumed...with so many things...more to come on those things later when I know that it's legally ok to talk about it.
Hope You all have a bitchin' weekend!!!
This post is dedicated to Southern Sage ...after that steamy HNT I just had to put this up and I think all the ladies will agree with this sentiment.
| You Are a Visual Learner |
 You excel at art, design, and computer programming. You would be an excellent film director - or the next Bill Gates! |
| Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking |
 You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk. You should major in: Philosophy Music Theology Art History Foreign language |
I was sitting at a friend's house about a week ago and was writing some random thoughts down as they came to me...I very rarely do this, but I think I am going to share the results with You all and just get Your take on it...
When we embrace and you pull away does my essence stay with you?
Does the heat of my body penetrate you as deeply as yours does mine?
Does your body starve for the taste of me as mine does for you?
Am I in your every dream?
Does it sting for you when we're apart?
Like it does for me?
Take me.
Embrace me.
Make me whole.
Is that sappy? Anyone want to vomit now? Lol.
So, yeah...that was random, but there, floating around in my head. Anyway.
Life is back into the full swing of its normal hectic self. I'm dying to get back out to the farm, but haven't had a chance...ahh well. I will eventually.
Not entirely sure how my home life is going around here. I'm never home and when I am, there isn't a lot I want to say.
I'm starting the enrolling process for AI of Nashville and am excited about that. (More on that later.)
Hope You all have a great week!
This is for Southern Sage
I am: A woman, mother and wife.
I think: Far too much.
I know: Far too little.
I want: To go to school.
I have: Everything I need.
I wish: That I could travel the world and help those who need it.
I hate: Selfish People.
I miss: The innocence I once felt.
I fear: The loss of a child.
I feel: Too much too often.
I hear: My children and a TV playing to no one in particular.
I smell: Pizza
I crave: To satisfy those I love.
I search: For Truth.
I wonder: If we truly are the only beings in this enormous universe.
I regret: Too much.
I love: Completely.
I ache: Deeply.
I am not: Selfish, cruel or jealous.
I believe: In a God of unfathomable love.
I dance: Every chance I get.
I sing: Ok.
I cry: Rarely.
I don’t always: Answer my phone when it rings.
I fight: Only if someone threatens my family or friends.
I write: In moods.
I win: Gracefully.
I lose: Gracefully.
I am never: Not tired.
I never: Panic in an emergency situation.
I always: Sleep on my right side.
I confuse: A lot of people.
I listen: To what people say.
I can usually be found: At work or at home.
I am scared: Of falling under frozen water.
I need: Therapy!
I am happy: Sometimes.
I imagine: So many things….
Was ok.
The drive was long...even so, I did enjoy how flat it is there.
The hotel was nice...though situated in the middle of nowhere.
There was a really cool outside mall that one could catch a shuttle to...Easton...I don't like to shop.
The book I took with me (The Judas Strain) has turned out so far to be awesome...so, I stayed in my room and read while we were there.
And so went my vacation....
| Your Movie Buff Quotient: 88% |
 You're an expert on movie facts and trivia. It's hard to stump you with a question about film. |
I've always thought the moon to be a pretty awesome thing...Here's what the moon looks like from my home...
What does Yours look like tonight? Have You even taken the time to look or enjoy? Want to? You know You do...go ahead...I'll wait.
It's beautiful isn't it? I'm happy I could share ;-)~
It's a tad blurry...I know. My camera's batteries are almost dead and it's not holding focus...such is life. Perhaps, tomorrow's moon will be as full and I will have a new opportunity to take a clear shot of the man in the moon!
I know, I know...With the price of gas who can afford to drive, but then I ask myself how much my sanity is worth to me and that by far outweighs anything gas could cost...
So...I drove around for about 4 hours the other day and enjoyed myself immensely and enjoyed being by myself...words can't express it. Anywho, on my little venture of the twisting, winding roads of Tennessee...I took some pictures and thought I would share them with you. Little pieces of beauty...at least through my eyes. These are the roads and other things of interest that grace the countryside near the ranch/farm that I work on from time to time.
This is just so random, but I was driving down a little road and came upon this..I don't know if someone camps here or if it's just a place to rest tired feet...whatever...I thought it was cool, so here ya go...
Ok...if there is still anyone coming around to read...I apologize for my disappearance...I'm just not ever home anymore. I'm getting at least 45 hours a week at Camp and then whatever hours I can work on the ranch...as much as they will let me work...I'd be there 40 hours a week too if they'd let me. Keeping busy keeps my mind numb and right now that's what I need...not to think too much.
Anywho...that's a whole other post...maybe.
Hope You All have a wonderful week!
I have told you all about working at the farm, well yesterday I took T (my 5 year old...he just got out for summer break) out there with me. We had a blast. I bought a memory card for my camera and took it with me...This is one of the videos I took. S and N finally talked T into riding on the bull training barrel, he had a blast. The guy with the cowboy hat (N) runs the farm/ranch and the other guy is my brother-in-law... S. They also talked me into getting up there, but I wasn't about to let anyone video that. LOL!
While I'm not a huge fan of country music, this is one of my favorite country songs and I thought it fitting as he was really afraid to get up there, but did it anyway. I know it's not the best shooting, but I would say not too terrible for a first try. I'm also still figuring out all the ins and outs of editing video...anyway I thought I would see what you all think of it anyway.
Wow, I feel like a total slacker. Here it is a couple of weeks and I haven't posted anything. Thanks so much for those of you who have come by to check on me...You all kick ass!
Well, I guess I should start with the whole job thing...I'm working the restaurant part time (whenever the owner calls) and at a ranch with my brother-in-law (S), at a camp and here at the house getting it ready to sell. I am not fond of the kitchen job still, though it has gotten easier to deal with the smell, but I absofuckinglutely LOVE working on the ranch. I'm a huge fan of horses and this allows me the opportunity to be around them and work with them without paying out the ass for one...S is also one of the coolest people I have the honor of calling friend, so that's cool and did I mention that I love it! I'm working at a camp as a cook...I love this job as well, I get to cook without having to fry everything I cook. It's also not short order cooking, I cook a meal for anywhere from 30 to 150 people then serve the food and clean the kitchen. I like that a lot better. It also entails cleaning dorms, but that's not bad at all. I have also had a few people ask me to create some artistic things for them...Needless to say this keeps me pretty busy, but right now that's what I need...something to keep me occupied.
Tuesday J's grandmother died and that has been super hard on him as they were very close. She had a stroke about two weeks ago and has been struggling since then. So it was a blessing, I guess, in that she isn't in pain anymore. I will miss her terribly, she is without a doubt the most kind person I have ever met in my entire life. Period. I never heard that woman raise her voice or utter anything that could even remotely pass as judgmental, harsh or uncaring. She was 87 years old, Mother to 1, Grandmother to 3 and Great Grandmother to 10 grandchildren. She lived a long life and lived it as an amazing woman, mother, grandmother and great grandmother.
Other than this there really isn't much of anything at all going on in my life right now...I guess I should be glad of this as my plate is pretty full as is. Hope you all have a wonderful week!
I just wanted to let everyone know that if I don't manage to comment it's not because I'm not reading or anything....it's just that I'm either not here or too tired to even turn on my PC. I'm not going anywhere, I will still be here, it's just that right now I'm trying to get into some kind of regular work schedule, right now I am just working whenever the owner has me there.
I have so many "OMG that's my favorite song!" songs...really! Music moves me as nothing (Not even mind numbing sex) can. I don't know why, but it and it alone can sooth me as no other thing on this earth. My art included and I absolutely love doing that. It still doesn't touch what the right song can do for me, so I think I'm going to start posting them on this blog more often. I believe that if you take the time to listen to the words of a song someone else is listening to, you can get a good idea of what point they are in their lives. I choose songs that best suite what I am going through...mentally...it reminds me that I am not the only who feels this way...that I am normal (to a point). Call it reaffirmation if you will. Whatever. The point is...I love music and would like to make it a part of this blog.
That said: Here is my favorite song of the moment...
Here is the acoustic version...
I'm sitting here, hands shaking as I type this. I was just in a really weird situation and it has me shaken. I went to the neighbor's house, they are fairly new here, to check on my kids (their kids and mine have become fast friends as kids do and they play over here and there together...thought I think that is bout to change) and pick up an application his wife was supposed to bring home for me... he asks me for a cigarette and I give him one and sit to smoke one with him. So, we sit there and talk about the restaurant his family owns and life in general for a few minutes and then I get up to leave because the kids are out the door now. As I walk to the door, he basically pins me to the wall, his hands on my waist, my back to the wall and asks if I want to give him a little kiss. DO I HAVE A SIGN ON MY BACK THAT SAYS I JUST WANT TO BE FUCKED BY YOU? Why does this shit happen to me? This wouldn't be the first time a guy has done this...I have never messed around on my husband (The only man I have ever even kissed)...what makes these cock carrying mother fuckers think they're going to be the one? And what in the hell makes this person think he has the right to put his hands on me...to invade my personal space (This is a HUGE problem for me) and actually touch me!
At this point it actually took my mind a second to catch up...is this guy actually doing this? I pushed him away, reminded him that I am a married woman. His words..."So. I'm married too, I wont tell." I muttered that I had to go and left...His last words to me as I made my way out the door..."Well, think about it..."
I thought about it you asshat! I thought about it as your hands wrapped around my waist, as your face neared mine...I decided eleven years ago when my husband put a ring on my finger...when I took a vow...I decided then and I'm not going to change my mind because you have a hard on!
I'm not against a little good natured, innocent (everyone knows it's all talk and nothing will EVER come of it), flirting amongst friends...don't get me wrong, but I haven't known this guy long and this was completely out of the blue. And to top it all off, he cornered me. This makes me extremely uncomfortable, I not one of those people who will just come up and hug anyone. You have to be a person I've known a while and trust...especially if said person is male. I am just not into physical contact of any form, I cannot stand those people who like to come up and touch...ya know...they just have to pat you on the back or slap your shoulder or leg if they get excited about anything. Ugh...do these people not know what personal space is? So imagine my dismay when this guy actually put his hands around me. I'm still shaking from it.
Anyway, I guess I blow things out of perportion at times, but for me...this is a big deal. I feel slightly violated and now I have to live next to this jackass. Now what?
I've come to the conclusion that I'm just going to stay in my home...if I don't go out...this shit wont happen to me!
I hope You all have a good rest of the week...
These are a couple of pictures of my friends, they wanted fantasy pictures and this is what I have so far...I'm still working with both of them, but it's mostly just tweaking what I already have.
This is a logo idea that I am working on for a local band, they want me to design t-shirt logos...this is most definitely NOT a finished product, but something I threw together in about 5 minutes to show the guy where my mind was headed...they weren't interested in that particular design, but he did say he liked the direction I was headed with it. If the t-shirts sell I will get a percentage and that would be nice! Perhaps this will lead to something.
In Other News: We have about 3 inches of snow (actually it's small hail and sleet with a deceptive little layer of snow over it) on the ground and more to come, up to six inches...hmmm...that's what they all say...*goes to get her measuring tape*!
Have a bitchin' Spring Break!!!
Here are a few pics that I'd forgotten about...You may have seen these somewhere, but I thought them worthy of posting again...They are just so full of wisdom. ;-)
1.
2.
3.
4. When all else fails............................
5. And finally...
First let me say...sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to you all on the visit...
I went in and the Doc went in and did his thing!...Then he told me that I have HPV (Human Papillomaviruse)...The kind that causes cervical cancer, though there is no detection of cancer so far...so, I have to go back every 4 months so that can be watched. I am supposed to get a vaccination (three shots in total) for it, they cost $350.00 a piece...all out of pocket. I just don't see how I'm going to do it, but that's for later thought.
I'm still researching this vaccination, what I have read so far is not really comforting because HPV has over one hundred different strains and this vaccine is comprised of only a few...the trouble lies in the fact that if you happen to have one type specific to the vaccine and it is dormant the shots can activate it and can actually cause the cancer that you may or may not have gotten without the vaccine.
Rant Warning!!!
On Side Note: The Government is trying to make this vaccination mandatory for all teenage girls...In The great state of Texas it already is! Anybody else see the problem here? If they try that shit here...I'll move to Mexico! I refuse to have the government take away my rights as a parent to decide what is right or safe for my children! Especially when what they are forcing could do far more damage than good in the end...And...Yes, I'm a total bitch when it comes to someone messing with my kids...I don't give a damn who it is!
End Rant
On a lighter note...I thought I would add some of my favorite photos...
So, tomorrow is the big day...
I go to see the Dr. and am keeping my fingers, arms and legs crossed that I don't have any major issues...well, my fingers and arms, unfortunately I wont be able to cross my legs during this procedure!
I'm trying very hard not to think too much about it, it freaks me out quite a bit. I had a biopsy on my throat with the Thyroid Cancer and I'm not at all excited about them doing a biopsy on my...uhm, yeah, so anyway! I mean...I know I'm a pain slut and all, but needles inside that area...not my thing!
So much for not thinking about it!
I'm off to hyperventilate for a minute so I can get on with my house work....
I have read the book "Scarlet Letters" and am aware of its popularity. I am also a HUGE fan of "Gone With the Wind" and I'm well aware that I'm not the only fan of either of these...
What I wasn't aware of was how totally unoriginal the name to this blog is! I went online just to see how often "Scarlett Letters" was mentioned in a Google search and was blown away by how many other blogs share the name! I read one lady's Bio and would have thought it was mine had I not known that I didn't make it!
So, this is how I discovered that I'm a totally unoriginal blogger!
