Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. - Helen Keller

Saturday, May 21, 2005


What defines a real friendship?

It is very easy to call a person "friend" when times are good and two people are on the same page, but what about the tough times when your companion does not agree with your thoughts and is NOT on the same page you are? Most healthy people (by this I mean with a healthy self esteem) are able to see that it's ok to have ones own opinions on things. That not everyone will see things one way.

I think a true frienship can be easily defined by how willing we are to remain friends THROUGH our hardest times and in spite of everything come out on the other side knowing we are BOTH better for it. To know that the trials we have walked through have brought us closer and allowed us another glimpse of the one we call friend.

Honesty is another BIG thing for me, if I cannot trust that a person is honest, then I will never feel comfortable enough around them to open up. Finally there is Loyalty, something that is not easy to come by. Loyalty to me, means that if one does make a mistake they will be foregiven entirely. The other side to that is, doing our best NOT to do anything that may be seen as unloyal or selfish.

Friendship is a give, give relationship, as corny as that may sound. If one person takes only, then the other is depleted and this continues until neither is very happy with the other. This type of "Friendship" will certainly either wither untill it's nonexistant or will end badly. Using another for one's own betterment is NOT a good definiton of a friend, no one WANTS to be a pawn.


MsOrrie said...

AMEN! I agree and you know it's sad the people in this world who are really friends (I consider myself a giver) attract takers. I guess I am lucky because I have internal red flags that let me know when I am over stepping boundaries. I find it unfortunate that everyone doesn't have this - or if everyone DOES have it why don't they use it? Lets spank em!

me said...

Can I friend you? LOL...
Actually, you are dead on when it comes to what a friendship is and what it takes to commit to a friendship/relationship. I think challenging times adds character to a friendship -- and you discover how strong (or weak) your friendship is. Tests suck, but they reveal a lot... :)

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