Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. - Helen Keller

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Fucking Muse!




I'm sitting here, frustrated as hell with myself. You see, I went through this period in my life when everything I wrote (or drew) seemed to be golden, it all fell into place and came out lovely or whatever...Anyway, for about six to eight months this hasn't been the case. I feel like absolutely everything I write is shit and not worth the memory it takes up on my PC, I'm stuck with about 5 different stories I would love to finish, but every freaking time I sit down to continue on these wonderfully written beginnings...I get nowhere and somehow end up assing up the whole thing! What gives? Is this the dreaded writer's block (not that I'm in any way saying I'm really a "Writer") that I have heard so much about and if it is...what the HELL do I do to get rid of it? I even feel like there hasn't been anything really good written on my blog in a while either. (Sorry guys and thanks to those that haven't abandoned hope that there might eventually BE hope for this blog).

It's not just in my writing either, I haven't been able to draw a damn thing lately, nothing, not even some silly, cool little doodle. I'm telling you guys, my well of inspiration is dry! My muse has left the scene completely, just took the fuck off and went south for the duration of her cycle or whatever brought on this drought and it's kicking my ass. I feel old and used up though I haven't hit the 30 mark yet and I know this shouldn't be the case, I should feel 29 damn it, full of life with thoughts of amazing adventure swimming through my mind, ready to get up and face whatever life has to throw at me and yet...I find that each day this is not the case. My first thought of the day is: Fuck me sideways, I gotta do all this shit AGAIN! I am pretty sure that the lack of inspiration and motivation are tied together and am even mostly sure I know what it's about, but I don't know what to do about it or how to fix it for the here and now. It's one of those things that only time can fix or bring about, if you will.

Anyway, guess I'm done bitching...if you see my muse, kick her ass and send her back to me!

6 comments:

RockDog said...

I hit these dry periods as a well sometimes. Wish I had a resolution myself...but each time it is something different that snaps me out of it. Sometimes it's reading something that someone else wrote and thinking, "That is awesome!...but I bet I can do better!" LOL! Competition usually fuels my fire.

The worst is trying to force it as I have found it only worsens the situation.

I admire the people who can be creative 24/7, but it's not me. Life all too often gets in the way. Hard to think about cool plot twists and funny show topics when I'm chasing kids, paying bills, and mowing the lawn! LOL!

Best suggestion...

Give it a vacation and then revisit some of the projects you started. I find that I then have a clear head and make some great progress and at the same time it often brings new ideas to life and then it ON!

I like the "Fuck me sideways" expression...haven't said that one in a long time!

Sorry to be so long winded...LOL!

scarlett said...

First, never worry about longwindedness : )

I think you're right about forcing it, that does make things worse...and worse...

Vacation you say...sounds good...oh wait you meant from the stories...lol! Guess I really should try that before I end up tossing the whole PC out the window.

Yeah, I understand the chasing kids and paying bills (hubby wont let me mow, says it's not a woman's job...hey, works for me!) and all the other stuff that comes with life and I think all that has great deal to do with this lack of musage.

I think too that it has a lot to do with the fact that I wasn't able to get into art school and soak up all that knowledge that is just waiting for me to go grab! It's all I can think about and it's killing me to wait...did I mention I'm not the most patient person in the world when it comes to these kinds of things?

Was going to say fuck me running, but is that really even do-able?

Now, that was long winded...lol

Jay said...

I wish there was sure and easy way to snap out of things like that. Usually it just has to run it's course and then things start flowing again.

Maybe reading a book or just putting on the headphones and listening to some music will clear your head and it will all come back to you.

scarlett said...

I have three books that I'm currently reading...or I was last week, guess I need to pick at least one of them back up.

And oh how music does soothe the savage beast and inspire the mind. When I was still in school I would listen to classical music and write forever, perhaps I should get a good classical CD again. (We lost all of ours when our house burned down, along with ALL of our other music...that was the most missed, I think of all that we lost in that fire. (We were all perfectly fine: )

Anywho, I'll just hang on to the thought that this will pass...eventually.

Chalice said...

Scarlett, for years I wrote and wrote and wrote and there just came a point where it all stopped. It drove me nuts. I would then force myself to sit there and try and come up with something creative.

When that didn't work I would submerse myself in books and movies hoping for a little inspiration and for whatever reason it just didn't work.

It was depressing. Very depressing. But the more I thought about it the worse it got so I just had to let it go.

Then one day it just came back and since then it comes and goes but I have found out I just have to take it as it comes. If I don't, I find myself getting frustrated again. It's truly not fair and it sucks but it's the only way I, myself, can deal with it.

I hope it all kicks back in for you because I do truly understand. It's such a big outlet for all sorts of emotions and it was always much needed...

Take care Red..

Beefcake Almighty said...

This is why we have alcohol.

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