Fading Away...

I find myself lately, simply wanting to fade away or perhaps I feel as if I'm already fading. I'm not even exactly sure what I feel, other than I don't even know myself any more. None of this makes any sense to me as I have a wonderful husband that I don't deserve and three healthy, beautiful children, a family that means more to me than life itself. So, why do I feel so fucking lonely all of the sudden? What is it inside of me that is missing? I feel numb, that's a more appropriate word than lonely, perhaps. Numb, nothing really touches me lately, as if there is this veil that keeps me from actually experiencing what is going on around me. I think my barricade of protection has turned into an insurmountable wall that now holds me inside, locked from myself and everyone around me and I have no idea how to get rid of it now that I have built it. I don't know where I'm trying to go with this line of thinking or if any of this even makes any sense, so I'll stop for now and try again to regroup my emotions, see if I can even make heads or tales of myself...