Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. - Helen Keller

Monday, December 31, 2007

The New Year...

Is upon us, once again and it's the time of year that people are making resolutions...

I too have thought about changes I would like to bring about in my life, number one being to get myself into school this year if it kills us all! Of course I'm not going to kill anyone, but this is very important to me and I think it will greatly change (for the better) some of the opinions I have of myself. Speaking of changing opinions, that's another thing I am going to do this year, work on how I see myself, because I know that no matter what anyone else thinks (and I do respect many of your opinions), weather good or bad, it will never mean as much to me and I will never gain anything from those opinions if I don't see myself from a healthy perspective. Enough said, those are my resolutions for 2008!

January 1st, 2008 is a very special day to me, it marks the eleventh year that Jay and I have been married. Some times it only seems like yesterday that we stood in a church and said our vows, others, it would seem another lifetime, funny, how time works. I feel like the most incredibly blessed woman in the world and at times find myself lacking the words to explain how he still makes me feel, though, cherished, loved and safe pop into mind instantly when I think of him. All I really know is that He makes me want to be a better person, for myself, for him, for our children...and that can never be a bad thing! Thank you Jay for coming into my life...I love You!

I know, I know, this all sounds very emotionally mushy and stuff, but as much as I hate to admit it, I am a woman and prone to emotional outbreaks from time to time, so get over it! lol!

I hope that You all ring in a safe and Happy New Year!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

The Gift...



The holidays have been wonderful this year, especially after receiving a gift I've wanted for years! A camera.

This camera...

I've been snapping pictures of unsuspecting victims (family/friends/animals/trees...pretty much anything that will stay still long enough for me to shoot!) all week. Here are a few that I really like...

This is Tony(our youngest, 4), while it looks like he fell off a bike, this wasn't the case, he was actually upset because he got a remote control truck and the battery was taking too long to charge. I wish he'd been smiling, but I like the way this turned out never the less.

This is Eli (He'll be 8 Jan. 6th, the middle child), he was out playing and I got him to stop a second to catch this shot, another that I really like.

And this is of the neighbor's cat, I'm not a huge fan of cats, but I like the coloration of this animal, so I caught it sitting still and got this...

I hope to figure out soon how to get the pictures onto the computer without them becoming so huge!

I hope you all have had a wonderful holiday season so far and wish you all a spectacular new year!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Remember when....

I said...
"I am also so ecstatic about what’s going on with our house! We are renovating…if I had a camera I would be taking pictures of all this to show you guys, but alas I do not, perhaps J will get me one for Christmas ; ) That would be mega cool!"

Well, I have the coolest husband in the world! He got me a camera, a really nice one too! (Must put BJ on my list of things to give Him!) So, I started taking pictures already and have some of the addition that was once the carport, now, taking on the shape of a room. I'm SO excited. We swapped gifts last night as he thought it would be nice to have a camera for the holidays, ya know! I didn't argue at all, I thought it was one of the finest ideas he's come up with yet...lol!
Anywho, here are the pics!

(This will be the theater room when it's all closed in.)

(Double doors that I've wanted so long!)

(From inside the theater room looking out through the not yet finished walls.)

There are sure to be more soon!

Have a wonderful Christmas!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Winding back through the years...

I was over at Rock Dog's Blog and saw this really cool meme that he did, and decided to do one myself.

It asks what you would say to yourself if you could write a note to you when you were 13, did that make sense? Here are a few things I would love to say to me back then.


Dear thirteen year old Scarlett,

I’m writing you (myself) from 16 years in the future, the date is 12/20/07, the president is George Bush, no not Bush Sr. there is a Jr. Yes, yet another one made it in...God Bless America :o)

Anyway, none of that is why I’m writing you, there will be time for that later. For now I want to try and pass down a few pieces of knowledge that you may find useful. Here goes…

Whatever you do, where ever you go, no matter who you happen to be around…DON’T let people convince you that you’re ugly, stupid and worthless, it’s just not true and you’re going to spend the next sixteen years making stupid mistakes to convince yourself of this and you’re going to waste a lot of time beating yourself up over why these people don’t like you. It’s their loss, let that shit roll off your back. Besides, most of those people now look at you and trip out on how different you look and YES you will have boobs someday!

Work HARD in school, don’t be lazy, you’re smart and would do well to learn now while your young, believe me, you will appreciate yourself more in the future if you do. History IS important and you will find later in your life that you actually DO enjoy the subject; in fact you love learning of any kind. Pay particular attention to your English/Literature classes, it will come in handy when you begin writing, yes, we write (sometimes), isn’t that cool!

Don’t light that cigarette! Put that out right now! You dense girl, what the hell are you thinking, you sing, you play musical instruments and you’re fucking it all up even though you don’t realize it yet, you’re laying the path that will eventually take a big toll on all of that! Take care of your lungs, keep singing and playing, don’t let that talent slip past you, you have as good a chance as anyone to make something out of it, so long as you don’t screw it up!

Draw your heart out! Let all of it out in your art, stop bottling things up, it doesn’t help. It’s only going to build up more and more until we just become a very angry little bitch for a while.

Remember that no matter what is going on in your life, it will pass, there is nothing placed in front of you that you aren’t able to handle if you will use your mind to figure it out and not just react emotionally.

I could go on for ages on things you shouldn’t do and things that will make your (my/our) life easier, but you are young and curious, and have much on your mind, so I will stop now and let you get back to your life. It does get brighter :o) go live it!

Your Future Self

P.S. You are still a tomboy and I don’t think that will change though you will learn to enjoy getting dressed up to go out with your significant other. Yes dear, you will eventually find someone….

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The holiday musings of a mad woman...



I have decided that I am the grinch, all this talk of lovely memories; happy holidays, Christmas long past and such make my toes curl...

It's not the holiday itself per se, I guess, but the stress of buying, shopping, buying, searching and did I mention buying? I'm such a guy when it comes to shopping; I hate it!

I am excited to see the reaction on my children's faces this year though, we are getting them each their own game system (probably a PS2 each, for the older two and perhaps a V Smile for our 4 year old) and I know they are going to freak, but in a good way. This will be their first game system and I think they'll love them!

I am also so ecstatic about what’s going on with our house! We are renovating…if I had a camera I would be taking pictures of all this to show you guys, but alas I do not, perhaps J will get me one for Christmas ; ) That would be mega cool!

Anyway, about the house…we are turning the carport into a family room and Theater room, the ultimate man room, I’m going to get pictures of it somehow for you guys when he finishes it. With what he has in mind I’m sure that this house will be the hang out place for all the kids of the neighborhood…just lovely…lol! We are also ripping up all the carpet and putting in wood and tile floors throughout the house, can’t wait for that to be complete, no more pesky carpet stains!

I hope you all have a wonderful week!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Friday, December 14, 2007

Desktop

This is my current desktop background. I was fooling around in Photo Shop and this is what I got. Nothing special, but simple with just a splash of color to remind me to smile when the world is gray. : ) Corny...I know.

Have a wonderful weekend my (as hubby calls you all) blog buddies
Thank You Rock Dog for mentioning my blog on your bitchin' show!!! That was super cool.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Friday, November 23, 2007

I hope...

You all had a very Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Hard core...



Here is the whole picture of the Smurfs going hard core!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

If you...




Were to choke a Smurf...



What color would it turn?

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Fucking Muse!




I'm sitting here, frustrated as hell with myself. You see, I went through this period in my life when everything I wrote (or drew) seemed to be golden, it all fell into place and came out lovely or whatever...Anyway, for about six to eight months this hasn't been the case. I feel like absolutely everything I write is shit and not worth the memory it takes up on my PC, I'm stuck with about 5 different stories I would love to finish, but every freaking time I sit down to continue on these wonderfully written beginnings...I get nowhere and somehow end up assing up the whole thing! What gives? Is this the dreaded writer's block (not that I'm in any way saying I'm really a "Writer") that I have heard so much about and if it is...what the HELL do I do to get rid of it? I even feel like there hasn't been anything really good written on my blog in a while either. (Sorry guys and thanks to those that haven't abandoned hope that there might eventually BE hope for this blog).

It's not just in my writing either, I haven't been able to draw a damn thing lately, nothing, not even some silly, cool little doodle. I'm telling you guys, my well of inspiration is dry! My muse has left the scene completely, just took the fuck off and went south for the duration of her cycle or whatever brought on this drought and it's kicking my ass. I feel old and used up though I haven't hit the 30 mark yet and I know this shouldn't be the case, I should feel 29 damn it, full of life with thoughts of amazing adventure swimming through my mind, ready to get up and face whatever life has to throw at me and yet...I find that each day this is not the case. My first thought of the day is: Fuck me sideways, I gotta do all this shit AGAIN! I am pretty sure that the lack of inspiration and motivation are tied together and am even mostly sure I know what it's about, but I don't know what to do about it or how to fix it for the here and now. It's one of those things that only time can fix or bring about, if you will.

Anyway, guess I'm done bitching...if you see my muse, kick her ass and send her back to me!

Friday, November 02, 2007

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween!!!

This is J (my hubby) as Satan for a Costume party we attended. He made the horns (he was a Theatre Major in college) and I glued them on him and did the makeup. There were quite a few Satans there, but he was told by several people that his was the best. I took the picture with my phone, that's why it's not so good. Anyway, it was a blast to do his makeup.

On a side note: I went as one of the three Power Puff Girls, I was Blossom, a friend of mine was Bubbles and her friend went as Buttercup. I'll put the pictures up when I get them from my friend, the costumes...we made them! We rocked out to some bands, one of wich my friend's boyfriend is lead singer, he's a really cool guy. The band name is Supre X and they are great!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Random Info I Find Interesting...

Picture sitting back in your favorite easy chair, listening to your weekly radio show and just enjoying life when your hear a news broadcast come on stating that the earth was being invaded by aliens! The fear that would overwhelm you as you heard such an official alert, gathering your children and hurrying them off into the relative safety of the cellar. The horror of boarding up your home, knowing that mere nails would not hold out such a creature as the terrified man on the radio described...knowing that your world, the place you have always called home and found refuge in, was no longer yours alone, but now shared with a strange and dangerous species...

This actually happened to millions of people on Oct. 30, 1938 when the Orson Welles preformed an adaptation of "The War of the Worlds" over the radio in such a way that those listening believed that aliens were really taking over the planet. It was rewritten by Mr. Welles so it would sound like a new broadcast and the sound effects coming across the radio convinced millions to run and hide or leave their homes.

I just thought I would share this tidbit of info, I love this kind of stuff, though it kind of gives me the creeps, that was done on the radio with only sound effects, now we have imagery that easily equates the real thing...

How do you think you would react, or would have reacted back in the day, had you heard the broadcast?...

Monday, October 29, 2007

Horror House

I haven't written anything in a long, long, long, long...you get the idea...time. So bear with me if this is lame-O!

The wind howled outside sixteen year old Sarah’s window, low and angry causing a branch to slap noisily against the glass, twigs screeched back and forth. Sarah sat in the middle of the room, going through boxes as she unpacked her belongings yet again. Her family never stayed in one place too long though her parents would not say why, she always thought it had something to do with her family heritage; they were descendants of Gypsies, a nomadic people. Lightning arced across the sky and an ear-shattering boom shook the house, the lights flickered, dimmed then returned.

Sarah leapt up, heart in her throat, she wasn’t fond of thunderstorms, and the house truly creped her out. It was a really old house, built in the early nineteen hundreds, everything creaked and moaned as if it would collapse any moment and she was sure she could actually feel the structure swaying with the wind. Sarah grabbed the flashlight off of her dresser and decided to keep it close by…just in case. The tree slapped against the window harder than ever now and rain also pelted the dense glass, lightning lit up the sky outside and everything went black as a terrifying crash brought forth an uncontrollable squeal from the frightened Sarah.

Sarah switched the flashlight on and decided to go check on her mom and dad, she wasn’t going to get anything unpacked with the lights out anyway. The rain sounded like an army marching across the roof, drowning out everything else with the exception of the thunder that continued to shake the house. She held her flashlight in front of her with shaky hands, she really, really was beginning to hate the house and it was only her first night in it. Sarah hated the icy feeling that creped up her spine as she made her way down the long hall to the stairs. Why had her parents decided to take the room at the far end of the house, didn’t they think about situations like this?

From deep with the heart of the house Sarah heard a blood-curdling scream. She took off in a dead run to see if her mother was hurt, She almost lost her balance and tumbled down the stairs in the darkness, but caught at the banner just in time. She decided the house was built well after all, as the banner didn’t even shake when her meager weight of 100 lbs slammed against it. She took a second to steady herself then was back on the go to get to her mom. The eerie cry echoed through the house again just as her mother nearly ran her over going to see why her daughter was screaming.

Sarah screeched as she collided with her mom, both asked the other at the same time. “Are you ok?” Sarah looked at her mom, “That wasn’t me, I was coming down to see if you were alright” Her mom just shook her head. “It wasn’t me, I was in the living room with your father trying to hang a mirror.” They grasped hands as the terrible sound rung throughout the enormous place, neither could tell what direction it was coming from anymore as it seemed to pulse from within the walls of the house itself. Sarah had to raise her voice to be heard. “Mom, this is freaking me out, lets go get dad and get out of here.” Her mother pulled her closer and started toward the living room. “Sounds good to me.” When they entered the room he was lighting candles and hurricane lamps, looking around trying to find the source of the endless wail that seemed to match the vibrations that steadily picked up in strength as it strummed through the house. Sarah could feel in vibrating through her bones, terror gripped her mind as the horrors surrounding her seemed to want to swallow them up.

“Dad, we have to get out of here…please.” She tugged at his arm as he slowly made his way to the living room door. He was going right toward the noise as if he had no choice. She turned to her mother for help, but she too was following the terrible wail. “Mother! Stop! You can’t do this!” Sarah was frantic to snap them out of their stupor; she slapped her mom hard, wincing at having to do such a thing. Her mother never flinched. She pulled hard on her father again and he flung her against the wall, knocking the breath out of her.

Tears shimmered at the corners of Sarah’s eyes as she pushed herself up off of the floor. Her parents were no longer in her line of sight and she hurried to catch up, what she saw when she rounded the corner stole her voice. She tried to cry out, but found herself unable as she watched her father’s hand disappear impossibly into the crack in the floor. She rushed to help her mother and hit a barrier. She finally found her voice as she watched her mothers beautiful features twist in pain as what looked like nothing more than a shadow poured up through the floor, wrapping its self tightly around her mother’s ankles.

Her mother looked up, Sarah could see that she was aware of what was happening around her, she looked at Sarah and mouthed the words: I love you. Then she screamed and blood sprayed from her ankles. Her feet were being pulled down into the impossibly small crack between the floorboards. Sarah could hear bones popping and crunching, splinters of bone shot across the room; getting larger in size the farther her body was pulled. Her mother stopped screaming when her chest was pulled into the floor, her ribs snapped and dug deeply into her lungs.

Her misery had finally ended and Sarah watched in stunned terror as her mother’s lovely face and head took on an odd shape, the eyes that once held so much life bulged monstrously from their sockets, one oozed a sickening yellow substance that caused Sarah to vomit as it rolled to her feet and stopped, staring at her accusingly. Sarah took one last glance toward her mother before everything around her swirled into black and she collapsed to the floor…

Thursday, October 25, 2007

HNT

Recently, I joined this group at CafeMom called The Patio and they are doing boobie shots, don't ask...I don't know, but I decided to join in. The picture is terrible, but I thought it might make a fun HNT post, it'll be my first ever!



Happy Half-Naked Thursday!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Look Into My Eye...

Okay, I was bored, so I decided to fool around on Photo Shop and was looking on my PC through my photos when I came upon this one. It was a half way decent picture of me, so I decided...what the hell, why not mess it all up and this is what I came up with...

Monday, October 22, 2007

Singing in the RAIN...well, maybe not, but...





I'm sitting here at my desk with my window open enjoying something that I haven't seen in a while. Rain! It started raining yesterday and hasn't stopped, it's absolutely wonderful and I just can't seem to get enough. It has finally come back to my favorite season of the year, I love Fall with it's vibrant colours and crisp scents that carry in the cool clean air. I like the way the wind will carry a sound so far through the ever thinning trees, but mostly I like the rain. The cleansing wash of rain that carries all the gunk and grime of summer away. No more dust that clings to everything, turning the grass a dull green until it chokes and dies, dry and withered. Until Autumn (I love that word) when the rain falls again and bright flaming red, purple and yellow/orange hues fill every yard, in the sky and on the ground.

I know this will sound odd, but I think that somehow the crisp air makes the colours seem that much brighter, perhaps the cold air and rain somehow purify the air as it falls and gets rid of the hot, humid haze that we've lived in for for the last two and a half months. Anyway, however it works, I'm always so thankful when October rolls around. We have finally had a break in the terrible drought and I can feel how sated all of nature is, it makes me feel at peace. The sound coming through my open window is so soothing, I always sleep well when it's raining or storming the rhythm lulls me. Hmm... Speaking of sleep, have a good night all!

Friday, October 19, 2007

Still Kicking...



Ok, so it's been a long time without me posting anything or just silly space fillers to let you guys know that I am indeed still alive and kicking. I have been in search of a job, but the more I think about it, the more I think I want to create my own job. I'm tired of busting MY ass to line some loser's pockets for them. I also figure this will allow me more options on going to school and having all that work out. I have talked about this with a friend I have known from about 12 years old. We work really well together and both feel the same about busting our asses for basicaly nothing. Anyway, wish me luck.

On the home front, my 4 year old is NOT into going to head_start at all. He hates to see me leave and flips out. I can hear him screaming all the way to my van out in the parking lot if he happens to catch me before I can sneak out the back door. He is fine so long as he doesn't see me leaving, but god help all of it doesn't work out that way! My 7 year old isn't liking school this year either, but that is because he is lazy and doesn't want to do the work all he wants is to play, play, play! Get over it kid...life isn't at all like that! He also doesn't react well to his teacher's in his face approach, he's like me if someone gets in my face, I shut down and they will get exactly not a damn thing from me. Geez! Then there is my daughter...oh how I like my daughter, my sweet little A+ student that 9 times out of 10 will have her work done before she gets on the bus to head home. Now if she would put as much effort into keeping her room clean...

My husband is of course as always so good to us, works so hard and wants only to show us how much he cares. I wouldn't trade all the gold in the world for him, thank you J for being mine!

Well, I think I have run out of things to say and it's about time to go get T from head start so I'm going to mosey on now, but I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Although the world is full of suffering; It is equally full of overcoming it!: Helen Keller

Monday, September 24, 2007

Tagged!...

I was tagged by the lovely Chalice and this time I will be sure to complete it!

What's on your desktop?

Here's what's on mine.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Unconscious Mutterings...Posted Words

These words are from Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Dork :: Whale Penis

  2. Refurbished :: Furniture

  3. Basket :: Picnic

  4. Mousse :: Chocolate

  5. Studio :: Apartment

  6. 8 ball :: Fortune Teller

  7. Masking tape :: Packing/Moving

  8. Love :: Family

  9. Wilder :: Laura Engels

  10. Lindsey :: Lohan

Saturday, September 08, 2007

There, They're, Their...

You Scored an A
You got 10/10 questions correct.

It's pretty obvious that you don't make basic grammatical errors.
If anything, you're annoyed when people make simple mistakes on their blogs.
As far as people with bad grammar go, you know they're only human.
And it's humanity and its current condition that truly disturb you sometimes.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Farewell Pavarotti...



Today Luciano Pavarotti Died at the age of 71, due to pancreatic cancer. He died in his home in Italy and the world of Music will miss him surely. My husband very much admires his talent and through J, I have also come to appreciate the beauty of his voice.

Farewell Pavarotti...



You will be missed by many.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Life...

I think I have permanently run out of creative things to write, draw, or say, whatever. It's a pretty empty feeling as if my muse suddenly realized she wasn't interested in me anymore, perhaps someone more polished caught her eye. I have sat down to this key board so many times in the last few weeks and could come up with absolutely nothing to say. Nothing has been able to spark an interest in me lately and I'm pretty sure it all stems from my want to be in school right now. I understand that now isn't a good time financially with my husband's new (1 year old) company and with the price of day care for three kids on a one income home, so I will put it off and get a job (once I get my vehicle working properly again) until next year, sock away some cash for the cost of day care or whatever when I am in school and grit my teeth in anticipation until it can finally happen. Did I mention I'm not the most patient person in the world?

I'm still waiting to see if my youngest son will qualify for head-start, if not I will just have to take some of that cash I'm socking away for school and spend it on day care. Ahh, it never ends...does it? On the up side, my other two kids are in school and one is doing their work hole heartedly...the other, not so much. We're working on it. Any tips to getting a lazy kid to do...well, anything? I think we may have to have a teacher swap, his teacher is a bit unaware of personal boundaries and my son doesn't respond well to that, for that matter nether did I when she was right in my face talking to me about my son, she wasn't mean or rude per se, but she really didn't seem to have a clue or care about invading another person's space and that's a big thing for me. My son is quite a bit like me in that when someone invades my space or gets confrontational, I shut down, I have nothing left to say because I tend to get tongue tied and just make a fool of myself so shutting up is a much more dignified recourse for me. I'm not sure that is the logic behind his shutting down, but whatever the reason he does and I have seen first hand how he responds to the teacher. I had to bite my tongue when she literally backed him to the wall (right in front of me) and was only about 10 inches from his face talking to him. I want my children to respect their teachers so I didn't say anything while he was there, but I told her while he waited on me int he hall... (this conversation was on the 5th day of school starting.)
"Well, Ms.H, you are a bit different than any teacher he has had so far."
What do you mean, Mrs. P.?"
"You are a bit more in his face and more out spoken than any other teacher he's had, I'm not trying to tell you how to do your job because god knows I don't think I could do it, but his other teachers were firm yet a little more gentle with him, he responded to them differently."
"Well, I have tried to be nice and give him chance after chance to do his work and he just wont do it, I can't allow him to take time away from every other student in the class."
"I agree whole heartedly Ms. H, and I have let E know that his laziness will not be tolerated, we will continue to work with you on this. Thank you for taking the time to see me about him and we will keep a close eye on his daily progress folder for updates."

I continued to do the two-step with her to just keep her at least arms length so she would stop touching my person while the conversation turned to her telling me she thinks he is ADD. I don't know why he isn't willing to do anything for the poor lady, but I know that no matter how tedious or time consuming a project may be here at home if it is something he wants to do or is getting paid to do, he can accomplish it with no problems keeping his mind focused. I'm not saying he isn't ADD and I'm more than willing to have him tested, but I do think that some teachers are all to eager to push drugs on students that pose the least bit of discomfort to the stability or flow of the way they picture their class functioning. I am not and will not ever say that all teachers are this way and I mean no disrespect to any teacher, even for those that I would say diagnose children as ADD or ADHD too quickly, I admire people who have the gift to teach and often wish it were one of my talents as I think that might make parenting easier. I do however believe that there are those few (as in any other profession) that would rather do the easier thing and simply give the child something that will force him to calm down, like it or not. I fear that it's a bad thing to teach children that a pill will cure everything at such a young age, not to mention the fact that once they are on Ritalin or other such drugs they then have to take more drugs to curb the side-effects of the first drug introduced, by the time they are ten years old they're already taking a hand full of pills to make it all go away. Stress, anxiety and having to handle responsibilities or the feeling that go along with not handling them is just a part of life and I don't think teaching our kids to suppress their feelings with drugs is a good thing for their future in a world that is generally full of stress.

Let me go ahead and say that I do think that for some children these drugs are completely necessary, I have known some children that were literally unable to control their need to fidget and this drug help them to become a more stable person without loosing them self in the drug, but I also know others that simply need an outlet, a place to use the talent that is bottled up inside and let it shine, giving the attention or self worth that they need to find and will never find in a pill. I'm not downing medicines I just think they shouldn't be so readily given out to children.

Well, this wasn't supposed to be a soap box rant, but that is what is seemed to turn into...see, nothing creative to write about. Hence my absence in writing, perhaps soon I will have something more interesting to share, until then...Have a beautiful time!

Content Warning:

PARENTS: BE WARNED: This blog is run by an ADULT and I CANNOT guarantee that every post will be suitable for children under the age of 18.

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